Is the holy matrimony a sacrament of those who just can’t make it into religious life? ...or is this a badly misplaced notion?

By Charles Muchiri

There is this woman in my upcountry local church – St John Mihuti Catholic Church, of Gikondi Parish - who is always so predictable every time she participates in Sunday Mass communal prayers. Actually, she takes part in as many communal prayers!

“God we thank you for taking good care of us in the course of the last 6 days, and on day number 7, you have assembled us here, in your holy house,” she goes on to say; “Holy God, we pray for vocations in this church; we pray that we may have priests, religious brothers and sisters from our midst,” It’s always so predictable from her, that I can dare place a very high bet on whether she will make this prayer or not!

Without a doubt, her effort, her persistence, her zeal, her pointed petition is certainly a beautiful and commendable act.

It may as well be the reason why our local church now has one nun, another in the formation process and two boys who just started the process of priesthood formation!

But there is one thing that always strikes me from her prayer. Whether she always consciously ignores the holy matrimony as a vocation is beyond me! As far as I can recall, I have never heard her praying for the latter sacrament!

And given the frequency of her predictable petitions, I can easily tell that this lady doesn’t really take the sacrament of holy matrimony with much significance, I may however be dead wrong at it!

Based against this; have you ever noticed how much emphasis we – mostly the lay – place on praying for Holy Orders every time there is an opportunity to pray for vocations?

Yes, indeed, we also do pray for marriages; for the married, for our families. But not for those who are discerning to take the holy matrimony path! It just doesn’t feel cool!

So, do we blame it all on our shallow catechetical approach to matters sacraments? Sure, there is a dire need for the church to have many in the clergy, and praying for this is absolutely necessary! But why don’t we also pray for those who are intending to pursue this other sacrament? Do we imagine in any way, that marriage is more or less a lesser calling, compared to holy orders?

I suppose if we pray for the sacrament of holy matrimony and for those discerning the same, with the same zeal that this woman at my local church prays for the holy orders, then many would stop looking down on the sacrament of holy matrimony as a thing for those who just couldn’t make it either into the convents or seminaries!

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