If Jesus Christ was born in Nairobi, Kenya

By Charles Muchiri

A curious star hangs over Nairobi Town skies

It’s late Friday. And it’s the last Friday of the Month. The end month employees have money. Lots of money. But not one little Family that stays in Kairobangi North. Mary and Joseph are a young couple who are barely settling down.

And Mary is very pregnant. Her husband Joseph is aware of it. That is why over the last couple of months, he has been working extra hard, at his little Carpentry shop somewhere at the Kariobangi Light Industries.

Of course the current high rate of inflation has not been as friendly to Joseph’s business. A few years ago, that is before the construction of the Thika Super Highway commenced. He could go home at the end of the day with Kshs200, give it to Mary for the evening shopping and expect some little change out of it!

But things have now changed drastically. The Kshs200 note can barely be enough for the couple’s breakfast.

But despite the economic hardships, Joseph is undeterred to survive. He has to, or else his lovely wife and their expected child will suffer.

On this material evening, Joseph opts to go home early. He instructs Maina wa Mbao, his colleague at the JoMa Furniture Carpentry Shop – with whom they share the rent for their makeshift Kibanda – to handle the Pro-Box guy. Now, the Pro-Box guy is the man who recently made an order for a mini wall unit, promising to come today with the other bit of down – payment. He owns a pro-box car.

This money will come in handy for Joseph, if and when Mary’s time to deliver finally knocks on their single room house.

Joseph normally walks to work. His age mates refer to this walking to work as ‘route eleven.’ But lately he hears the young generation referring to walk-to-work as – Besigying, after the Ugandan Opposition Leader and his walking to work antics. The young generations are mostly the youths who come daily to play pool at the Pool Table that is adjacent to JoMa Furniture.

This particular evening, Joseph’s steps are rather harried. He hasn’t heard from Mary the whole of this afternoon. He has an intuition that something is amiss, about Mary.

Half-way through, he comes close to Shadiraki’s Supu and Mitura base. This is the place where while on his way home, he often makes a stopover, to ‘refuel’.

Today, Mwangi wa Gikomba, Joseph’s acquaintance at the soup base, is a little early. He’s already sipping his cup of soup past the half-way mark.

Joseph is so determined not to stop over and do his evening ritual: At least not for today. But as a good man that he is, he certainly can’t snob Mwangi, or can he?

So, he decides in his minds; “Just a quick Hi, and that’s it!”

But after the ‘Hi’, Mwangi wa Gikomba, insists on ‘revenging.’ That is reciprocating the soup and a Kshs10 mutura that Joseph bought him a day earlier.

At this point, Joseph quickly reminds himself that he’s a man. And men, especially from his clan are supposed to be calm under pressure, very calm. If anything, nothing is elephant enough not to be handled by a man who has just drowned a cup of hot soup.

Shadiraki’s soup is rather hot today. And Joseph is almost literally sipping his own saliva in the name of drinking the extremely hot evening soup.

He has barely drunk much of his soup when an incoming call from his Nokia 1860 comes through. Wait a sec! With one hand holding a piece of mutura and the other a cup of soup, Joseph must take time before he’s able to answer this one!

But no sooner has he quickly placed his cup on the bare ground (there are no table at Shadiraki’s) and hastily swallowed the last bit of his mutura, than he realizes that the call has been terminated.

A quick check on the phone reveals a missed call from Mama Otis. Simply put; Mama Otis was beeping him.

It’s unheard of for Mama Otis to beep let call Joseph. In fact, the only person who may flash him from time to time is his wife, Mary.

And since the time Safaricom introduced the Bamba 20, 10 and 5, rarely does this happen. In extreme cases when Mary absolutely neither has money nor airtime, she will often send Joseph a please call me.

But she doesn’t please call, just to say some niceties to Joseph, no! There must be a real good reason. Like when the Kenya Power people come calling – threatening to cut electricity due to unpaid bills. But then, that has happened only once this year!

Quickly, Joseph calls Mama Otis, and the phone call confirms the obvious. Mary is in labour!

Hurriedly, Joseph abandons his soup! In his haste, he even almost forgets to say asante to both Mwangi wa Nguo and a bye to Shadiraki as he dashes off.

Mary in Labour

There are two women who are trying to bring Mary down the stair-way. Mama Otis, and Mama Mercy. Both are close to Mary. Matter of fact, Mary doesn’t have any enemy around. The couple’s little abode is located at the fourth floor.

So, Joseph instinctively tries to help, but the women quickly reassure him that everything is under full control.

Mary is in anguish. Her face looks almost twisted. This is a far cry from the lovely, gorgeous Princess for whom Joseph had to pay as many goats as part of the bridal price, a while back.

Things are happening very fast! Joseph quickly reasons that he has to call for a taxi. Soon they should be at the Pumwani Maternity Hospital. But the mobile phone network at the stairway and at the corridor is rather poor. And he has to hasten outside the high-rise apartment, so that he can call the Taxi.

Soon, Kamau wa KAZ pulls over. Just in time when the panting Mary is being assisted towards the gate by the two Good Samaritan women.

Kamau wa KAZ is a terrific driver, anytime of the day. He knows – rather, he claims to know every route that is in Nairobi like the palm of his hand.

Kamau behind the wheel; Joseph at the front passenger’s seat; and three women at the back. One of them sandwiched, gasping.

Joseph feels like telling her just how sorry he is about her situation. He feels like telling her that all will be over soon. He’s worried stiff, about her current condition. But at the same time there is an adrenaline of excitement rushing through his system. “Yes! I’m going to be a father!” The excited inner Joseph tells him.

Now, he is not sure which feeling is stronger: The worry for his wife, or excitement on the prospects of being called a Dad.

He wants to tell Mary all these. But Joseph is a man. And there are some two, seemingly bold, confidence women inside this vehicle. And men don’t go showing sympathy anyhow, especially at the presence of women.

“Today, Juja Road seems rather clear,” says Kamau. But not until the vehicle approaches the Redeemed Gospel Churches of Kenya.

Suddenly, KAZ is sitting in a gridlock. And behold, the trouble sets in.

Pumwani is quite far from this point, everyone now figures. And hopefully, Kamau can cheat his way through this ungodly gridlock and get to the maternity in time.

Meanwhile, Mary seems clueless about what’s happening beyond her own labour pains. “My divine help, she keeps muttering, while biting her lower lip; in untold anguish.

Somehow, Kamau almost makes it to beat the traffic jam by using some rough alternative routes through Eastleigh.

The rough alternative routes through Eastleigh Estate are not so welcoming to any vehicle, especially the Kamau’s - and its one delicate passenger. So far, Mary is doing very well, copping with her pains. It’s as if there is an invisible angel, sitting right next to her, holding her, helping her to keep her cool.

“Wait a second,” interrupts Joseph, “I had earlier promised Mary that I’d take her to St Mary’s Hospital, in honour of her lovely name!” says Joseph.

“Do you think we can really make it there?” “I can make it dear, ….I will make it,” Mary manages says, in between groans.

At this juncture, all the other parties in the vehicle can only comply.

St Marys’ Langata is now the next stop. And Mary has to hang in there. At this point, Joseph is a little off Mary’s case.

All his minds are on his wallet. He is trying to figure out whether he has made the right decision right there; whether he has the Kshs1, 500 or so, that Kamau is going to demand for the transport service?

Surely, he had earlier budgeted for only Ksh1, 000 and the only contingency fund that had been saved on Mpesa (for the maternity fee) might now be eaten into.

Meanwhile, give credit to Kamau’s driving. Just as he claims, he seems to know his way, all the short cuts through Kariakor, Town Center and eventually Langata Road.

Mary’s groaning are now intense and Joseph tilts back a little to reach out for her lap. He touches her, as a sign of reassurance. “Don’t worry, you will be okay”

As a man, that’s the best that he can do for now. Soon, Kamau is pulling over at St Marys’ Emergency entrance.

And it’s no longer Joseph and company’s case now. Mary struggle a little as the nurses perch her on a stretcher, swiftly wheeling her towards the Labour Ward.

“Who’s the closest relative,” the Nurse who seems to be in-charge turns to the woman and enquires.

“I’m the husband,” Joseph quickly responds, to which the nurse reassures him that all will be well and that he may leave for home and come back early tomorrow morning for an update.

“For an update?” he asks himself inaudibly. “It better be exactly as that angel told us!”

Some sigh of relief! All will be well. This is the voice that now starts ringing in Joseph’s minds.

Now, frantic calls have to be made. Joseph also has to visit the Mpesa shop at the Hospital’s entrance in order to withdraw some cash, and settle Kamau KAZ’s money.

Soon, Joseph and company are now joining Langata Road back to Town and to Kariobangi North. And while inside the car, Joseph manages to call Elizabeth, Mary’s closest Cousin, to brief her about the evenings’ happenings.

He also calls Mary’s mother too; and of course - Maina wa Mbao, just to check whether the Pro – Box guy has left any extra deposit, for his mini wall unit.

This money is going to come in handy!

/Follow this writer on Twitter: @muchirimuchoki/